July 25, 2002
It seems like a lot of people know when they are going to die. I am referring to patient's in the hospital. Older people that are sick. This lady who broke her hip came in for a routine surgery. Yesterday she told the nurse she was dying. Last night as I cared for her, she began to do so. This isn't the first time I have seen this, where someone predicts their death. Is it something they feel or see? I don't know, but it freaks me out. It's one of those things that gives me goose bumps. How do they know? It is hard to see someone go. Even if it is a good thing. I have been relieved to see people pass away, knowing they are no longer physically, or mentally suffering. But it's hard to watch their bodies shut down, as their extremities get cold and blue and they stop making urine and their breathing patterns change. Am I being morbid? It is heart wrenching. One of the hardest things is watching their loved ones cope with the loss of their mother or father or child and trying to comfort them. You end up hugging a perfect stranger, knowing that that is what they need at that moment. They hug you back so tightly. The time spent with the patient and the family those last few hours is really rough. You feel like you are adopted into their family in a way. You grieve with them and have to say goodbye. It is one of the most difficult parts of my job. But I am thankful for those moments and that I am able to be there for all of them in their time of grieving.
Comments
fred:
an old g/f at yale-new haven works in the sicu … i never liked talking about her work w/ her … always someone dying or coming in the hospital on their way to dying.
July 25, 2002 4:54 PM
erika:
Thanks for coming over to visit, Fred. I know it is hard to hear about people being sick and dying. It can be depressing to hear about all of the time. I know as a nurse, I sometimes need to talk about it with someone, though, to deal with it myself. I am glad that most of the time, my patients do recover and get to go home.
July 25, 2002 7:20 PM
Nathan:
sicu?
July 25, 2002 8:07 PM
fred:
nathan,
sicu: surgical intensive care unit
July 26, 2002 9:23 AM
Matt:
Frankly, I’d think that wiping the old people’s butts would be the worst part of the job.
July 26, 2002 7:06 PM
mama:
Your blog made me cry. I hope you never lose that desire for reaching out to the family as you go on in your career. Unfortunately I have seen some nurses too calloused to care. You’re a rare gift!
July 26, 2002 9:02 PM