October 31, 2002
I think Shane is on a hunger strike. I have been working the last two nights and I don't think he has eaten either night. I made him a sandwich yesterday for lunch and he couldn't even finish it. I, on the other hand, am snacking all the time lately. It's hard with all the stuff at work that people bring for us. I need to stop. As far as Shane goes, I guess he will eventually eat something or starve to death.
Our garage door is broken so we have to park outside. Luckily it broke while both cars were out so we weren't suck with one car...or no cars. It makes me want to put on a pair of roller skates and skate around like we used to do when we were kids.
I have to work tonight. I guess I will be a nurse for Halloween.
October 30, 2002
I remember one time when Shane and I were just pals. We were hanging out at Adam's grandma's house in Rainbow. I was feeling a little sad and lonely, standing outside by myself. Shane walked up to me, grabbed my hands and spun me around until we were dizzy. It made me happy and I knew I had a friend. I wonder if he even remembers it.
October 29, 2002
Shane and I were talking last night about how you can feel that it's Autumn. There is a crispness in the air. We don't have that look, with the changing of the colors of leaves and all, but within a week, you could feel the transformation from Summer to Fall. It would be cool to see the seasons change someday, but I don't know how I would do living anywhere but California. 50 degrees is freezing to me....
It was so cold last night, my toes were numb. And Shane, in his sleep, kept moving his warm feet away from my cold ones. I had to get up and put socks on.
October 28, 2002
a love letter
Yahoo! News - Drug Makes Cancer Cells Sensitive to Treatment
I just found out the other night that a patient I had taken care of several times had passed away. She was only 47. She was diagnosed with cancer at the end of August. We have has so many cancer patients lately and they are all so young. It scares me. I don't know what I would do if I was diagnosed with cancer. Like, terminal cancer. It seems like people frequently try radiation or chemo, but they often end up sicker due to the treatments and seem to suffer more by trying to extend their lives a little longer. It almost seems like by having the chemo or radiation, they are suffering more. I wonder if it would be better to just take the time you are given, get hospice and "enjoy" the time you have left with your loved ones at home. This drug might be cool, though, if it does work and make the treatments a little more effective. I guess it's hard to say what I would do if I or a loved one was diagnosed with cancer. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, considering how many people I have interacted with that are dealing with it lately.
Yahoo! News - Four Die in U. of Ariz. Shooting. How very scary. We had an overhead projector "accidently" get broken by a disgruntled student as it was knocked to the floor in one of my classes of nursing school, but that was as bad as it got.
Clamato y ceviche!
Yuck. What's the deal with clamato? Sounds disgusting if you ask me. Is it clam and tomato juice? There is a billboard by our house that has a big bowl of shrimp and clamato. I don't understand why anyone would buy the stuff. And the ad doesn't make me want to run out and buy a bottle. I don't know why the billboard is in Spanish, either. Maybe Hispanic people like clamato. It just sounds gross. And they command me to prepare myself one..."preparate uno!" No thanks.
October 24, 2002
I went to the 99¢ store yesterday and they had these really cute stocking hangers that you put on the mantle for 99¢ each. I ended up buying two. All last night and this morning I kept thinking I should have bought more. They were only 99¢ and I would need a set of however many for when we have kids. I thought I should have at least bought one more and that would get us through about 4 years or so. I even brought it up to Shane. We have no idea how many kids we are going to have (although the longer we wait, the fewer we are going to have, in my opinion), so I ended up going there and buying four more. I don't know. It was kind of weird. I am buying stocking hangers for my unborn children.
October 22, 2002
I have finished my book and have to go to work tonight. It's all a little depressing. I have spent the majority of my afternoon scouring the internet, looking at all those sites I couldn't look at before, for fear of seeing something I shouldn't have. I am allowed now. I suppose I should finish The Fellowship of the Ring and Winter's Heart. I am well into both of them. There is just something about those Outlander books that has me hooked and makes me want to read through them over and over again. They also make me want to move to Scotland and learn Gaelic. (And to buy Shane a kilt and a dirk for Christmas....)
And then there is work. It hasn't been too bad lately. I know that it is directly related to the fact that God is on my side that I have been spared. The nights I am not there are reportedly crappy. God answers my prayers. And even when I do run into a troublesome patient or a situation that is particularly trying, I know it could be much worse and that he is watching over me and helping me along my way. God is good. He does answer prayers. I've seen it happen first hand quite a lot lately. He is good.
October 21, 2002
It's cold. Summer is really over. Shane and I were discussing how to go about using our fire place. We never had a fire place growing up and I am kind of scared to use it. It would be nice to be warm, though.
I am almost finished with my book, which makes me sad. I am enjoying it and can't put it down. What will I do when I get to the end? When will she write the next one in the series? I have thought about starting them over. I could. I wouldn't mind it at all. They rule. By the way, they are available at Costco right now, for anyone that's interested.
October 17, 2002
Oh my!
About a little over a year ago, this happened:
"Daughter keeps her mother's body"
We heard about it, were a little weirded out by it, and knew it had all happened somewhere near us.
I just now ran outside to get my car and ran into our neighbor Carl on the street. He was looking at the remains of the fire and I stopped to talk with him. We stood there wondering what the cause could have been and he mentioned that the garage had looked a little trashy and maybe they would fix it up now. I pointed to the house behind us and said something like, "and what about this place?" The house is unkempt. There are two old cars with completely flat tires and weeds growing around them. The front windows have that black window shade stuff in them so you can't see in, but they can see out, which makes you not want to look at the house for fear someone on the inside is looking out. Carl said something about worrying about "her" and I asked him what he meant. I live on the same little street as the lady that had her dead mom in her house for six years! How freaky is that! I had just talked about it last night at work, which is even more strange. It came to mind for some reason and I asked if anyone had remembered it. So very weird. I have seen her sitting out on her front porch, listening to talk radio a few times and wondered about her, but I had no idea that she was that lady. So Carl filled me in and now I am a little freaked out about all of it. Very, very strange stuff.
Reba Street is where it's at this early Thursday morning. I was driving home from work and as I approached our little, quiet cul de sac, I noticed flashing lights coming from fire trucks blocking off our little street. I thought maybe one of our little old neighbors had called an ambulance or something. I had to park out on the main street and walk home. As I got out of the car and started walking, I realized that there was in fact a fire. I got a little nervous, prayed it wasn't our house, and asked one of the firemen winding up a hose where the fire was. "At the corner house," he said, with a smile. "You'll see it...." The garage burned down to a black charred skeleton. How scary. As I said before, I used to be scared when I heard ambulances growing up, that my house was on fire and they were heading over to put it out, even if I was at my house and there was no evidence of a fire. I have always been scared of waking up to a fire. It happened to our neighbors last night. I wonder if they caught it first, or if one of the other neighbors did. They have a few young kids. How very scary. I hope there house was okay. I can hear them cutting down the left overs with their chain saw right now. Yep, lots of action over here this morning. I am off to bed.
October 15, 2002
Last night I stayed up and watched Dirty Dancing. When it came out in theaters in 1987, I was 11 years old. Everyone wanted to see it. Everyone talked about it. I wasn't allowed. The fact that it was forbidden to me made me want to see it even more. I even had the soundtracks... Dirty Dancing and More Dirty Dancing. I begged and begged, but my mom wouldn't give in. Right around the time it came out on video, one of my friends was having a birthday party sleepover and the plans to pull one over on my mom began. She was going to rent Dirty Dancing and I would call her from the slumber party, explain they had rented it and ask her to let me watch it. What was she going to do? Come get me? Make me sit in the other room? I got to watch it. I don't know why I even called her. I could have just watched it and never mentioned it...she would have never known. It was just so important that I saw it, considering I wasn't allowed. It had to be good if I wasn't allowed! It had to be really naughty.
Incidentally, I did the same thing with that movie Splash. I don't know why I couldn't see that one. I guess I can kind of see with Dirty Dancing. I wonder if my mom knew that I was trying to pull one over on her. She probably couldn't understand why other mom's were letting their little girls watch those movies.
Here are some other things we weren't allowed to watch:
Bosom Buddies (Men dressing up as women)
Three's Company (A man living with TWO women!)
The Smurfs (Papa Smurf does magic... but it was okay to watch He-Man?)
Dallas (Too much grown-up stuff)
Love Boat (Too many people hooking up)
The Simpsons (Bart was naughty and Homer was...a slob?)
That's all I can think of right now...I am sure there are more. I will add to the list as I think of them.
October 13, 2002
Apparently, I look like Reese Witherspoon. I was taking care of one of my patients last night and she told me she thought I look a lot like her. She asked if other people had ever told me that. I told her that they had. She told me she had been trying to figure out who it was that I reminded her of the last few times I had taken care of her and last night, it hit her. She said she would have to tell her husband and that he would be very excited because he loves Reese Witherspoon. I guess I kind of look like her. She is pretty cute. It could be a lot worse...they could be saying I looked like Roseanne Barr or something. It's just funny to me that I have had several different people tell me so. A coworker told me that lots of people tell her she looks like Drew Barrymore. Last night we sat there and considered quitting nursing to become Reese and Drew look-a-likes, pursuing the talk show circuit and so on. We might be able to make a little more money....
October 11, 2002
I am considering getting a new job as a travel nurse. I would only be traveling across town to Sierra Vista Medical Center. I filled out an application yesterday. There aren't any openings at this time, but they expect there will be some openings for January in the near future. It all sounds good and I am just trying to pray about it and see if things fall into place. It would be nice to make a little more money and feel like people care about the work I do. We'll see what comes of it.
I just got out a few decorations for fall. I don't know why I bother. It's not like anyone but Shane or I will see them. Maybe the mail man (I mean mail woman) will enjoy my little wreath on the front walk. I was debating as to whether we should even bother with Christmas decorations this year. I know if we don't, I will get depressed because it will feel even less like Christmas. It sounds like my mom, dad, brothers, and sister-in-law will probably be coming up for a few days after Christmas this year. Last Christmas was really a bummer. I worked Christmas Eve, got home, and woke Shane up. We opened presents, then I went to bed so I could go back to work that night. I jumped for joy when I got a call from work telling me they didn't need me that night. It was a nice Christmas present. I don't have to work this Christmas, but I think I will offer to work Christmas Eve this year. Lots of the nurses have kids and I know they will appreciate having it off.
October 8, 2002
I am back from my little trip to Vista. It was a good trip, but I really missed Shane. I had worked Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night, then left Wednesday evening. So, really, I hadn't seen Shane in a week. I stayed with my mom and dad. We sewed, shopped, went to get our nails done, visited my grandparents in San Diego. I stayed in my old room. It doesn't really seem like my old room at all. When I lived in there, it was sweet. The walls were painted a light lavender color, the ceiling was yellow and the shelves and stuff were this green color. It looked so nice. I got married and my little brother moved in. He painted it brown. I don't know why he chose brown. Not long after that, my other brother got married and moved out, and our little brother moved into his room. The room is still brown. It looks okay, I guess, but it was so cute the way I had it. So, it didn't feel like my old room at all. Mandy's baby shower was very fun. There were over 40 people there. I don't think I even know that many people. I got to spend a little time with her and with her family, which was fun. I think they all would have enjoyed it more had Shane been there. Mandy's dad thinks Shane is the greatest. He is the son he never had. Apparently, he talks about him quite often and he did mention him several times throughout the night. On my way home, I drove to Mira Loma, which is apparently the smoggiest place around. I went up to visit my friend Natalie from Nursing School. It had been over a year since we had seen each other. She is also pregnant now. We drove over to Riverside to The Mission Inn and had coffee and walked around. If you are ever in Riverside, you should stop by that place. It's a beautiful hotel and a historical landmark. We didn't get to see much, but what I saw was beautiful. It was really hot down there...in the high 90s. After our visit, I had to find my way from the 15 over to the 101. Lucky for me, there was no traffic and I made it home safe and sound to my sweet, sweet Shane. Now it's back to real life.
