November 30, 2002
Yesterday was lots of fun, aside from the fact that I was pretty sleepy. I slept on and off on the two hour car ride, and that was about it. We got to see everyone and it was just a good time. Shane's aunt and uncle are the coolest people, very fun, welcoming and well, they just bring a smile to your face. Shane played a lot of foos ball with his brother, sister, and cousin, from which he suffered the ball hitting him directly in the eye. They boys had blisters on their fingers from playing so much, but they couldn't stop. The girls went to The Super Dollar Tree in Salinas for a bit. It was huge. Then we played Imaginiff, which was a really fun game. Good Christmas present if you know someone who likes games. We had lots of really delicious food and a great time visiting. I am really glad we went.
I slept in till noon, so the day is half way over now. I was so tired. Shane is sitting at the kitchen table, writing a paper on his laptop with his headphones on. He is singing out loud and it's very very cute and entertaining. I have no idea what I am going to do today. I am going to enjoy my day off, since it's back to work for three starting tomorrow night. I am also signed up for two extra shifts this next weekend, in attempt to rake in the bucks. I hope I am per diem by then so I will rake even more in. Ah, money. I hate the stuff. I wish I could worry about it less. The Lord always provides for us and we have always been taken care of, but man, it is so hard to let it all go and not care or worry about it.
So, tomorrow is December and I can hardly believe it. I have a little Christmas shopping to finish. I gave Natalie the quilt I made her yesterday, since we saw her. She liked it so much. I am so glad. I think quilts are the best. I really can't wait till I can make more a nd become really proficient at it. I need a talent, anyway. Maybe quilting can be it.
November 29, 2002
Home from work and pretty tired. We are about ready to head up to Salinas. Last night was good. The cafeteria screwed up and forgot to give us a complimentary Thanksgiving dinner, so the head of the hospital ordered Chinese food for us. It was kind of strange, but probably better than cafeteria food. It reminded me of A Christmas Story....
Macy Michelle was born Wednesday morning. All went well and she was home for Thanksgiving in time for the turkey.
November 28, 2002
I got to hear the gobble. Bob Bob called and gobbled for me. It seems Shane called my mom and told her to have him call and gobble for me. What a very sweet and thoughtful husband I have!
I think today more than anything, I am going to miss hearing my Grandpa gobble like a turkey.
November 27, 2002
A pretty sad thing just happened here not too long ago. Shane's mom called to tell us they were driving past San Luis Obispo. They couldn't stop, they were betting on what time they would make it to Salinas. They were in a hurry. Not even time for a bathroom break. I suppose we will see them on Friday, if Shane will get up and out of bed in the morning.
We just had a talk about Christmas. Shane doesn't know what to get me, but he doesn't want a *list* either. I think he wants to come up with something very cool on his own so he can surprise me and fill my heart with Christmas joy. I don't know what to tell him. I wonder if I will get nothing.... He has the additional stress of my birthday only six days prior. I have an amazon wish list, but apparently, those gifts aren't creative enough. I don't know what to tell him. If you can think of any cool ideas, let him know!
No baby yet.
November 26, 2002
I talked to my dad last night on IM. He uses the computer very infrequently, usually just to check his stocks, but I was glad he was online, because I had some stuff I wanted to talk to him about.
When I was just a few months old, my parents bought the house they now live in. The people that sold it to them owned built a house for themselves next door. They owned the property their new house was on as well as this big lot behind both their house and my parents house. The lot remained empty through the years, which was nice. We didn't have to share our driveway, and the kids had a big lot to play in. So, the man who lived next door (who is now in his 80s or so) has moved away and the plan is to sell his house and the land behind it. Most likely, the land will be built on and my parents will have new neighbors. They will have to share their driveway and things just won't be as quiet and private as they used to be. So, I wanted to talk to my dad about it. I think it would be cool if someone in the family bought it. I think it would be cool if we could buy it and build a house back there. I brought up the fact that someone would live back there and their punk kids would be speeding up and down my dad's driveway, driving him crazy. If you are going to have punk kids around, why not have punk kids that are related to you? Like, grandkids. He seems concerned about it, but I don't know what will come of it. I don't know if Shane and I could afford to buy it right now, let alone build a house back there, but it's an idea. It would be very nice and very cool. I guess I will just wait and see what comes of it.
My dear Mandy just called me from the hospital. They are working on getting Macy out. They started the IV, which was traumatizing for Mandy (she has a serious needle phobia...like, will fight the nurse/phlebotomist to the ground to avoid having the needle come into contact with her skin). So, there she sits, waiting for things to get moving. She isn't even having contractions yet. I think it's going to be a long day. They were watching The Price is Right when she called. Yes, it's going to be a long day.
November 25, 2002
So I am working again this Thanksgiving. I figure, why not? I will make a little extra money and it's not like we would do anything special anyway, just the two of us. It always sounds good, to say I will work, but I am bummed out when I am there and realize the holiday is just like any other day. So, it's cool this year, that we are going to go up to Salinas and see Shane's family for the day. A post Thanksgiving get together. Yay! I don't know what we will do. We all like to play games, so we may do that. I know I will be pretty tired, but it should be fun. I am looking forward to it. I know Shane is too, even though he won't admit it.
I saw the first Christmas trees yesterday. Can the trees possibly still be presentable at Christmas if you buy them now? I can't believe it's only a month away.
I called Mandy last night and she's still pregnant. She said that if she didn't have the baby by Tuesday, they are going to induce Tuesday morning. It sounded like she is really tired of being pregnant. So, it's either today or tomorrow.
I was thinking. Shane is really a brand name guy. I am not.
Shoes: he wears Vans or Doc Martens, I wear Payless
Clothes: he wears Billabong, I wear Target
Shampoo: he uses Herbal Essence, I use Suave
and so on.
Why is he the brand name guy? I want to be a brand name guy! I just have a hard time spending a lot of money on something that I can get for half as much somewhere else. I don't mind spending the money on him. Plus, I probably buy a lot more stuff than he does, and all that I purchase costs more than all his brand name stuff put together. Like, his brand name shoes have lasted for years whereas I have several pairs of shoes over those last few years, not because they are of poorer quality, just because I buy more shoes than he does. Same with clothes.
November 22, 2002
We went to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets today. It was good. I thought it was a little long and of course, the book was better. The best part was that we were at a Friday matinée and saw the movie with quite a few senior citizens. I think we were the youngest ones there. Usually, this could be a little annoying, but it was quite entertaining today. They all found the movie hilarious and there was this one guy a few seats ahead of us who made us laugh every time he laughed. He was so entertained by Harry and his wizardly hi-jinx. It was cool.
So, I bought some alcohol tonight and wasn't carded. The checker asked me, "you're 21, right?" I don't know if she just doesn't think it's cool to card people or if I just looked over 21, because usually, people think I am like 15 or so. I didn't know what to think about it, whether it was cool that I looked over 21 or if it meant I am looking older. I kind of liked looking younger than I am. Of course, the check out girl just might have been trying to look cool.
I bought a snow globe at The Dollar Tree today. It was more a sentimental buy than anything. I think I had one like it when I was little. It has a tree in the background with a little angel bending over to pet a deer. It's a little cheesy, but I think it's sweet and it reminds me of when I was a kid. The Dollar Tree is a very cool store.
November 21, 2002
I had two more patients die last night. They were both expected and I had a feeling they were going to go. After the first one passed away, I knew the second one wouldn't be with us too much longer. Even though they were both comatose and we were solely providing comfort care, it's still a very sad, sad thing to lose a patient. You wonder about the lives they lived. You wonder if they suffered or if anything could have been done differently to prevent their death. You wonder if you should or shouldn't have given them morphine to relax them a little, to let them breathe a little easier, even though it could speed up their death and if you made them comfortable enough. You start reflecting on your life and the lives of your loved ones. You realize how precious life truly is. At least they didn't die alone. They had each other, and me I suppose.
November 19, 2002
I have decided the most disappointing thing about the weather changing is that the trees in our backyard are losing their leaves. I am not going to be able to run around the house in just my panties anymore.
I forgot to mention that I got my hair cut and highlighted last Friday. I got it cut a little differently this time. In tenth grade, I began a life without bangs. You see, I have a nasty cowlick. It's pretty nasty and it is right in the left to middle area of where my bangs would be. Growing up, my hair did this springy thing in the front, not to mention the fact that it was the eighties and I had way too much bang anyway. So, in about tenth grade, after the fad of wearing your bangs curled, feathered to the side, and hair sprayed up as high as possible passed, I began growing them out. I don't think I will ever go back. The cowlick has me living in fear. I haven't changed my hair much since then. It is usually shoulder length, possibly a little shorter. I did start getting layers a few years back. And highlights have been added in as well. So, this time, I cut it a little shorter than my shoulders and added more layers than usual, with the sides in the front a little bit shorter. They are about as close as I can come to bangs. I think it looks cute and it's a nice change. Shane said I know look thirty instead of my usual eighteen. Very Nice.
November 18, 2002
We are back from our trip. It was short but sweet. We arrived down there about 10 or so on Thursday night. We slept in my old room, which really wasn't that weird at all. We watched a few movies... Pay It Forward on Thursday night. It was a sad movie! I had no idea it was so sad. I think Kevin Spacey is hot, even with burns all over his body. My mom and dad gave me my birthday present on Thursday. They gave me one of those paraffin hand dipper things (for my dry hands). Very cool. I opened it up to check it out to find that my mom had been sold an empty box. It was pretty funny. On Friday, I went Christmas shopping with my mom. We returned the empty box and got a full one. I got a lot of shopping done and got to go to all my favorite stores that I miss so much. We had Japanese food for lunch, then went to Fidel's (the coolest Mexican Restaurant ever) with my whole family for dinner. We ran to a few stores and bought the new 20th Anniversary Trivial Pursuit game, which was pretty bad. The questions were lame. We thought it would be easier than the original one, considering we had been alive for the last twenty years, but it wasn't. It went on and on and on. I think Andrew won. It was nice to hang out though.
Saturday, we went to breakfast with Shane's mom, which was very nice, then we went out with Ryan and Mandy Yingst. She is due to have her baby on Thursday. We went to Feliccia's for dinner and then watched Joe Dirt, which they claimed was "so funny" and that we "had to see it." It wasn't that funny. Not really funny at all. Sunday, we had my grandparent's 60th Anniversary party. The deck stood strong and the party was a success. It was nice and everyone had such a good time. My mom and dad did a great job. It was very nice and I think ZiZi and Bob Bob loved it. Shane played video games with Ryan in the afternoon and then we went to dinner with Natalie, Clay, and his friend that's a girl at a Mexican Restaurant downtown. It was nice to see them. We hadn't seen Clay in like, a year and a half and it's always nice to spend time with Shane's mom. Then, we went to Andrew and Pamela's house (which was *our* old house...) and played Beyond Balderdash. Now that's a fun game! It was a good time and their house is really nice. We started to watch Spy Game last night, but we started falling asleep, so we *borrowed* it from my mom and dad.
We left this morning for the long drive home. We stopped at Ikea, where we bought some wine glasses and a toilet scrubber. I like Ikea. We then went to Newbury Park (which is right past Moorpark in LA. And as Shane pointed out, Moorpark is Kraproom backwards.) We spent a little time at Jake and Penny's house after returning their checkbook which was left at my parent's house. Busy weekend. Home again. It will be nice to sleep in our own bed, but I'm always a little bummed when we have to return to real life.
November 14, 2002
Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
I wrote a letter to the Doctor's office regarding the bill I received in the mail the other day. They agreed that they were overcharging me and are sending me a new bill for a lesser amount. I am sure it will still be too much, in my opinion, but I'll take it.
I talked to my "boss" at work this morning and she agreed to switch me to per diem, which means I will make, like $10 more an hour. It was so easy! I thought she would put up a fight. She thought it was a good idea and pointed out I would make "so much more money." (Side notes about my boss... she is from South Africa, so she has the coolest accent. She was the nanny for Mary Poppins children many years ago. She calls all our old men patients "uncles" and the old ladies "aunts" which is very cute. She's a good manager)
My cheap work shoes from K-Mart are working out wonderfully.
We are leaving for Vista this afternoon for the weekend.
So, everything's great.
I think I made an enemy at work the other night. I am usually pretty easy to get along with and not one to get in someone's face and tell them what I think, but I kind of did (in an nice way) the other night and I think the person has it out for me now. Not like she will do anything drastic really, other than going out of her way not to help me. I don't feel bad for saying what I said, because it was true and I think I handled the situation very well. I am actually kind of proud of myself that I was a little assertive and took care of business. It's weird though, because I usually get along with everyone and people usually like me or are at least fairly indifferent towards me. Anyway, it will be interesting to see if she gets over it or if there will be this weirdness there when we work together.
It's funny to me when I have older men patients, like in their 70s and they call me pet names. I had two men that I took care of the past three days and they were always calling me kiddo and sweetie. It makes me chuckle and it makes me happy because I know that they like me and are comfortable with me. I mean, you have to call your nurse kiddo after you have celebrated over a long awaited bowel movement together. It's pretty sad to say, but I seriously clapped my hands and cheered when this guy pooped. You grow close after spending so much time together. It's so nice to have those patients you click with, that you know are comfortable with you and appreciate you. It makes work so much more pleasant and is so rewarding.
November 11, 2002
Things might be going my way again. I have three days of work starting tonight, and then we head down to Vista for the weekend. My grandparents are having a60th Anniversary party and celebrating their 80th birthdays. It's weird to me. They don't seem like they are 80. It should be a nice party. My mom and dad have been working like crazy to get their back yard all fixed up for the big day. My dad rebuilt the deck and everything. It looks beautiful back there. He secretly told me he is worried about it falling down if 50 people are standing on it. He has even calculated the approximate weight of 50 adults. He has put some serious thought into it. So, I think I will stay off the deck and keep Shane with me. That's two less people to worry about and if anything happens, we can be the first aid crew. I know CPR and am very familiar with caring for older people. I imagine there might be a lot of broken hips and stuff. Man, I see those everyday! If the deck goes, they will be so glad that I was invited, let alone was able to be there. Really, it would be best if the deck just stayed where it's supposed to be. My dad knows what he is doing. He is a good carpenter. I am not worried.
November 9, 2002
I am praying to the Lord that the fact that I interact with fairly caustic, dangerous chemicals and things on occasion at work will not result in three eyed mutant children or the such. I was thinking about it last night. When I take care of someone on chemo, I am supposed to flush their pee twice before it goes down to protect the people that use the toilet after them. Yet, it's okay for me to be disposing of the urine and touching these people and hanging out all night interacting with their body fluids and stuff because I have a think layer of latex between the fluids and myself. We also have patients receiving radiation occasionally. There is a little room near the nurse's station we have had a few of these people in. If you are caring for these people, you are allowed to spend about 5 or 10 minutes in the same room as them for the whole shift. Come to find out, someone informed us the other day that the location of this room is too close in distance to a desk we can sit at for hours or so throughout the night. They stated it was possible we were been radiated as we sat there. Lovely. Isn't that pleasant. I think I have been fairly careful. I hope that my children will be healthy and that my eggs aren't morphing into sickly little babies of the future. I guess I can just continue to be careful and pray for healthy little ones and that my eggs will stay in ship shape shape.
November 8, 2002
It's still raining. I am not used to all this rain. Down in Southern California, we shriek with joy and declare that it is raining at a mere drizzle. It does more than drizzle up here, but probably not much more compared to some places. When we were moving up here, we were told by many of my family members that the weather was pretty crazy up here. Shane was encouraged to get rain gear, like slickers and stuff, for when it started raining sideways. My cousin, who also goes to Cal Poly, had been up here a year longer than us and had given this vital information to the above mentioned family members. I have never seen it rain sideways up here and thank the Lord no one went the extra mile and purchased a yellow slicker and boots for Shane for Christmas. I guess what I am trying to say is we are all weather babies. We are used to nice weather and remark at how cold it is when we have to put a sweatshirt on. Not that I am complaining. I love the weather here and wouldn't trade it for anything. I think I am a California girl for life.
November 7, 2002
I am a little sleepy and grumpy right now. Work last night went rather well, considering I was given the problem children. They slept like babies. I was also told once again I resemble Ms. Witherspoon.
It's rainy today, which I like. Several things today have not gone according to my little plan, which I am trying to not let get me down. I should be sleeping, but I have a lot on my mind...
-The job thing
-The problem of a broken shoe
-The bill I received for a Doctor's visit in July
-Insurance companies
-The fact that they charged $15 for a urinalysis
-Waffles
-Sam and Sebastian
November 6, 2002
Yea, so I called in sick last night. My stomach hasn't been feeling right the last few days and I just didn't want to have to deal with it all night. I felt guilty calling in, but I did it. My fifth night of sleep was very nice. But tonight, I will work. I hope the other nurses don't hate me for leaving them hanging last night.
This morning around 5 or so, I woke up to gushing water. I laid there, hoping it was at the neighbors. I got up, put some shoes on, found a flashlight, and found the gushing water out in our front yard. I think one of the sprinkler pipes broke. I didn't know what to do. I turned the sprinklers off, and luckily that worked. Time to call the landlord again. I guess it's times like these we can be happy we rent.
November 5, 2002
Laura Bush called me this morning to tell me to vote. I didn't know she cared. I didn't even know she had my number.
Things on the job front could be changing soon. I could be getting a call within the next 48 hours, apparently. And "my file is strong." Who would've known! I will keep you posted. I don't want to say too much yet. I don't want top secret information to end up in enemy hands.
Shane and I went on a little walk around the neighborhood yesterday. I loved it. I love going out and walking aimlessly with my man and just talking. We have good talks. We should do it more often.
Back to work tonight. It has been a heavenly four days (and nights).
November 4, 2002
I don't really pay much attention to my hideously ugly hands. I don't really care that they aren't attractive. I had Shane take a picture of them, much against his will, with every intention of putting the picture here for everyone to see, but they looked really bad and I thought it was probably in my best interest not to post it. Those of you who know me know my hands and I will spare the rest of you. I was born with extremely dry skin, but it is really evident in my hands and feet... like they crack and peel and are really wrinkly and stuff. Like I said, I really don't mind that they are gross looking. I do mind that they hurt. There is not enough lotion in the world to make them feel better. The thing I mind most of all is this:
"Oh, look at your hands! They are so dry! You should put on some lotion!"
I hate it. I want to look down at my hands and shriek in horror, as if I had never seen my hands before or noticed how dry they are and how terrible they look. Like I don't know. Like I need you to make me aware of my dryness. Like I haven't tried every type of lotion before. I often get a list of lotions to try.
" Have you tried...?"
"Have you ever gone to the dermatologist?"
Shut up! Of course I have! Stop petting my hand like you feel sorry for me!
I have heard it all and I have been reminded of my skin's shortcomings since I was old enough to remember. I have heard it all. I have been made fun of, I have had little kids not want to hold my hands while babysitting and say something really inappropriate that kids always say. I really don't care how they look. I am used to it. They are my hands and they do their job. Sure, I would love to have beautiful skin and long lovely soft fingers, but I don't and that's okay. I have come to terms with my skin and it's dryness.
So, if you ever happen to run into me and want to comment on my hands and tell me how dry they look, please restrain yourself. I beg of you. I don't want to hear about it. I know about them. I have lived with them for nearly 26 years. If you can't hold back, I will forgive you. I will probably handle it very well and you won't even be able to tell it bothers me. That's just how I am.
November 3, 2002
When I was in second or third grade, we were given an assignment to go through the ads in a newspaper and cut out things we wanted. I remember sitting there with scissors in hand, reading through the paper and cutting various things out. Then I found it. I don't know why I wanted it so badly, but I thought I had discovered a gem. I promptly cut it out and glued it to my paper. "Horse Miniature" Sweet. What little kid wouldn't want a miniature horse? I should have wondered at the fact that they had put the two backward, horse before miniature. I was pretty excited. The next day I turned bright red with embarrassment when I discovered I had cut out an ad for "Horse Manure."
November 1, 2002
Woohoo! Four days off. We were thinking about going to San Francisco for the weekend, but none of our friends would go with us, so I guess we are staying here. It's probably better that way. We won't be spending the money and I am sure Shane has lots to do. Me, I am going to relax and enjoy my time away from the hospital and all the sick people. Four nights of sleeping in the dark. Heavenly.
