November 4, 2002
I don't really pay much attention to my hideously ugly hands. I don't really care that they aren't attractive. I had Shane take a picture of them, much against his will, with every intention of putting the picture here for everyone to see, but they looked really bad and I thought it was probably in my best interest not to post it. Those of you who know me know my hands and I will spare the rest of you. I was born with extremely dry skin, but it is really evident in my hands and feet... like they crack and peel and are really wrinkly and stuff. Like I said, I really don't mind that they are gross looking. I do mind that they hurt. There is not enough lotion in the world to make them feel better. The thing I mind most of all is this:
"Oh, look at your hands! They are so dry! You should put on some lotion!"
I hate it. I want to look down at my hands and shriek in horror, as if I had never seen my hands before or noticed how dry they are and how terrible they look. Like I don't know. Like I need you to make me aware of my dryness. Like I haven't tried every type of lotion before. I often get a list of lotions to try.
" Have you tried...?"
"Have you ever gone to the dermatologist?"
Shut up! Of course I have! Stop petting my hand like you feel sorry for me!
I have heard it all and I have been reminded of my skin's shortcomings since I was old enough to remember. I have heard it all. I have been made fun of, I have had little kids not want to hold my hands while babysitting and say something really inappropriate that kids always say. I really don't care how they look. I am used to it. They are my hands and they do their job. Sure, I would love to have beautiful skin and long lovely soft fingers, but I don't and that's okay. I have come to terms with my skin and it's dryness.
So, if you ever happen to run into me and want to comment on my hands and tell me how dry they look, please restrain yourself. I beg of you. I don't want to hear about it. I know about them. I have lived with them for nearly 26 years. If you can't hold back, I will forgive you. I will probably handle it very well and you won't even be able to tell it bothers me. That's just how I am.
Comments
mama:
I’m sorry I was one of those people who asked you if you used lotion on your hands and then petted them. But it’s okay because my son likes to hold hands with you.
November 4, 2002 9:41 PM
Da Goddess:
Tell the well-meaning that you appreciate their concern…and then walk away. And, sigh….
November 4, 2002 10:24 PM
mamateadora:
those hands are providers of love and help to those in need and those who receive that gift from you do not focus on their apperance or feel the dryness of the skin. The beauty is not in the “skin”,it is in the heart,and the beauty went there and other places on you that there wasn’t enough left for your hands and feet. We love them the way they are.
November 5, 2002 2:06 PM
mama:
I wish I had said that.
November 5, 2002 7:48 PM
mama:
I hope someday I can say that about my own daughter. With me one the “downside” of my hormone journey and her on the “upside” with being 12, I’m looking hard not to see the “blemishes” right now.
November 5, 2002 7:50 PM
erika:
That was very sweet, mom.
November 5, 2002 7:52 PM