November 21, 2002
I had two more patients die last night. They were both expected and I had a feeling they were going to go. After the first one passed away, I knew the second one wouldn't be with us too much longer. Even though they were both comatose and we were solely providing comfort care, it's still a very sad, sad thing to lose a patient. You wonder about the lives they lived. You wonder if they suffered or if anything could have been done differently to prevent their death. You wonder if you should or shouldn't have given them morphine to relax them a little, to let them breathe a little easier, even though it could speed up their death and if you made them comfortable enough. You start reflecting on your life and the lives of your loved ones. You realize how precious life truly is. At least they didn't die alone. They had each other, and me I suppose.
Comments
mama:
Usually people don’t quite come to the appreciation of the wonderful gift life is until they have their own children. Each person we meet has something to add to who we are or something we can give and share with them. Those patients of yours probably had no awareness of the way they impacted your life this day and how they gave you another keen awareness of life’s fragility and the uniqueness of each person. As we get older and our own mortality faces us we realize it and appreciate it all the more. You, my dear sweet girl, are going to make a wonderul mother.
November 22, 2002 8:53 PM