Erika Bonham dot com

March 23, 2005

I was supposed to work today, but at 2:30 this morning when I had slept maybe two hours in 15 minute increments and knowing I had to get up at 5, I called in sick. I didn't want to, but I was losing it. I was a wreck, thining about having to be up working all day. I don't know what is going on with Ethan. He has never slept so poorly. I put him down at 7 and he slept until about 9:30. After that, he would cry and cry, I would pick him up and he would immediately fall asleep in my arms. I would rock him, put him in his crib, walk out of the room, get into bed. He would wake up and cry and cry again. At around one we camped out on his bedroom floor. He slept great with me next to him. I didn't sleep so well. Around 2:30, I did what I never thought I would do. I was desperate. I brought him into our bed. Again, he slept great. He was peaceful and slept so well. I slept a bit, too. He seems to need me there, next to him, touching him. I really don't know why all of the sudden he isn't sleeping. He was sleeping all night! What happened??? I was so tired and so freaked out. I am glad I didn't have to work. In fact, Nana really wanted to see him, so she picked him up at 7:30. I slept until 10:30 (so nice) and then cleaned up around the house. It was amazing how much I got done! I picked Ethan up around one and he was his happy little self. He is such a sweet little guy. I feel so bad for him. I am glad he likes me so much, but I really need him to sleep. Even if it is just a little bit. I don't know what I am going to do. I have six days until I go back to work. Hopefully we will work it out by then. I hope.

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