Erika Bonham dot com

January 26, 2006

Before Ethan was born, I worked full time. Full time meant three 12 hour shifts a week. After the little one came along, I became what they call “part time II.” That meant a total of five 12 hour shifts in a two week period. After working a few months as a “part time II” employee, I realized something. My work literally calls me every night I am off to see if I want to work an extra shift. Every single night. I decided that I would cut back to what they call “part time I” and only have four scheduled shifts in a two week period and then I would pick up an additional shift within that two weeks. The reason this was such an awesome idea is that the extra shift pays time and a half. So, I am working the system. I work the same amount of shifts I need to work, but I make a little extra this way. Am I smart or what? The problem is, I NEVER want to work extra. I plan ahead, anticipating that I will work a certain day, but I dread answering the call and saying yes. It’s really hard for me. It’s as if knowing I am making the choice to say yes or no makes it so much harder to deal with it. (I actualIy dread going to work in general, but the extra shifts are just a little bit harder). I need to work that extra day and it is very very good money, but I sure make a production of the whole thing. I don’t know what the problem is. I like being a nurse. I think I do a pretty good job of it, but I have a hard time being there. The job is hard, but work is supposed to be hard! The hours are long, but I only have to work two or three days a week! I am doing something to help people and something that really matters. It is a good job. It is hard to be away from Ethan, but thank God we have Grandmas to watch him. I don’t know why I dread the thought of having to go.

So, I am working an extra shift tomorrow. I have to think about all the positive things I just listed about my job and focus on the good parts of it. I need to change my attitude and be thankful for what I have and what I get to do. Maybe someday I will look forward to going to work and getting to work extra. That would be cool.

♥