Erika Bonham dot com

December 9, 2008

I feel like the Lord has being growing me lately. Stretching me and asking more of me. And I am loving it, knowing that He is seeking after me and I am able to choose to obey Him. It hasn’t been an easy and I will say most of the growth has happened when I have been by myself, reading or praying or thinking, but yesterday I had an experience at work that was not so pleasant or obedient, really, and I thought about it all day yesterday and today as well. I was put in a situation where I was able to try out what I have been learning, kind of the icing on the cake. And like I said, I wasn’t totally obedient, but I did go away from the day having learned from it and hopefully having a changed heart from it.

I have been learning about love. Loving others. Jesus called us to love others. Everyone. People we can’t stand, people we are repulsed by, people we have nothing it common with. And if we cannot love them, how can we say we love God?

I was thinking about all of this on my walk this morning and these verses popped into my head. And they struck me, tears came to my eyes.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: he sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” -1 John 4:7-12

Whoever does not love does not know God…wow. So much of the time, I am only loving myself. I am only thinking about myself and what I want and how to do things the best way for me. I am self righteous and proud and it is horrible. And I am not loving. When I am not loving, that means it is as if I do not know God. Yesterday, I was humbled and God so clearly was speaking to me. I am so glad I heard him.

I have been praying that daily I would die to myself and be putting others first, looking for opportunities to serve and to “bring a little piece of heaven into people’s lives” (as Don Miller puts it). I have shed many tears lately and I feel the Lord revealing himself to me and I am so thankful. Especially at this time of year, I am feeling close to him and although the stretching hurts, I am praying to be stretched more and that he would continue to grow me and speak to my heart.

♥